The first story isn't that bad and actually just makes me look stupid. A guy came into the gym looking to buy a membership. I explained he could go online and be active in 10 minutes, or he could fill out a paper form and be forced to carry around a slip of paper for 1-2 weeks. I only told him this because we are supposed to. He clearly wanted to work out right away, so after me bumbling about some more trying to get him to leave, find a computer, sign up, then come back to work out, I finally figured it out and gave him the form. The next day he came in and showed me the paper. I asked to see his ID so I could check if he was in the system, which he obviously wasn't since it had been a day, and he called me out on it. Sorry I didn't immediately recognize you! My bad, how could I have been so foolish and disrespectful? Anyway, whenever he came in after that I just got a dirty look that said, "Hey, you are an idiot."
A couple weeks later I was at Brewfest, as was he. Having barely eaten lunch and after sampling dozens of beers, I ran into him and started apologizing for being a retard and for not remembering that I had sold him a membership one day and then forgotten it the next. He looked at me like I was crazy (well...) and then we said cheers, chugged our beers, and went on our separate ways. We do not acknowledge this encounter at the gym, but I don't think he hates me anymore. Win.
Story number two gets a bit worse. There is the really nice 1st year Ph.D candidate (wait...really? And in something really intense, like Biochemical Engineering/everything that I cannot comprehend) who came up to me and introduced himself early on in the semester. We began chatting whenever I was working and it was pretty normal. He even friended me on facebook. That is when I started to spin out of control. Now, this guy looks exactly like my housemate and close friend "Antoine," but they are of different ethnicities. This did not stop me from calling the gym guy "(insert race) Antoine." And his facebook pictures are literally Antoine's facebook pictures, just with slightly different skin color. It's actually amazing. And everyone who knows Antoine agrees that they are twins. So all this is fine, until gym guy came to say hi to me one morning and I just started going on and on about how he is twins with Antoine, and that I've clearly been showing his facebook picture to the world. What goes through my head when I do these things? He awkwardly laughed it off, so I thought it was all good. Then I don't see him for three weeks. Oops.
This guy is a trooper though because I saw him yesterday and he came over to talk to me! Like nothing weird had happened! Like I hadn't been a total creep! Amazing. So maybe I'm not as awkward as I think (yeah, ok) or my awkwardness is somewhat endearing. I vote for the latter.
So this last story has to be the worst so far. Hot Gym Guy comes in most of the time I'm working. He's tall and wears hilariously long basketball shorts, but has the face of an angel (what is wrong with me?). Anytime he was working out I would slyly watch him in the mirror. I do this to almost everyone in the gym, so it's really not that weird. We have to do something since we can't do homework or be on our phones, so watching people's workout faces is obviously the next best thing (some people are just hilarious). After a couple weeks of me lusting after Hot Gym Guy, I actually ran into him at a party! How exciting! But the problem is I don't actually know him at all. So this is my genius plan: I'll casually ask him if he works out at my site, since he looks familiar. Flawless plan. So I walk over, tap him on the shoulder and ask, "Hey, do you work out at Teagle?"
"Is that your pickup line?"
Seriously, dude? Did you just call me out? Wow. I don't ever try to pick up guys, and now I know why. I clearly suck at it. I stared at him and quickly started trying to backtrack, but I didn't know how to recover. I actually can't even remember what I said, but I bet it was idiotic. So that was a fiasco. Until I realized that he continued talking to me! Did my awkwardness work out for me this time? We talked for like 15 minutes before I ran away (I do that sometimes, but this time I totally regret it. There was no reason for me to leave Hot Gym Guy, so that was dumb). But check me out, using terrible lines, being awkward, and getting a conversation going! Suck it. Unfortunately my shifts were changed immediately after this meeting, so I just don't ever see him. And at this point, it's too late for me to be like "Hey remember me? I tried to pick you up by asking you if you work out, fun times." Next time I see him, I'm gonna do the same exact thing and see what happens.
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